Why children cry

Published December 20, 2011

The Gleaner Positive Parenting

 

Photo: stock.xchng

Children. They are godsend blessing, bundle of joys, their peals of laughter fills life with joy. Sometime this story and perception change when they start to cry - uncontrollably, without provocation and non-stop. 

While crying is a form of expression, like everything in excess it as the decibels rise, the concern for the child becomes a source of frustration and flaying tempers.

But there could be numerous and sometimes overlooked reasons for crying in children.

“The first thing to check for if you are dealing with a toddler is to see if there is something physically wrong,” informs Dr Pauline Milbourn, a paediatric psychiatrist. “It could be ear infections, which might make the child cry for long period of time or an insect bite. These are some obvious signs to be looked at.”

The child could be uncomfortable with a wet diaper or have a diaper rash.

SAFETY FIRST

Children have a tendency to explore, run around all over the place. “Examine the area where the child was playing, there could be an ants' nest or mosquitoes or any other insects that could have bitten the child,” she advises. “Give first aid or if the pain and the crying persist, see your doctor.”

Physical conditions can be easily identified and addressed, but it becomes a challenge when the spells of crying are psychological, there are some indicators to be looked into.

According to Dr Milbourn, most of the times to the crying is to seek attention. “The child might be feeling frustrated, wanting to be lifted or wanted to be fed.”

“To be in the arms of a parent is far more gratifying for the child than lying alone in the pen,” she said. 

Dr Milbourn, who is the former director of Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, said that like adults, children also suffer from depression or anxiety.When they are small it could be separation anxiety resulting from parents going for work.  “They feel that they are being separated from the significant people in their lives so they cry.”

Sometime they would play hide and seek, start screaming or take the car keys and start crying and insisting that they come with the parents.

This is a normal phase, Dr Milbourn informs and as the children mature they recognise this pattern.

Sometimes the expression of crying may be a result of slow development. A child who is 2 or 3 year old and falling short on cognitive and language skills, gets frustrated. “There are times when they are trying to communicate with their parents but unable to point out what they want to say,” she said. “When their utterances are not deciphered by the parents then frustration creeps in.”

When the children are older and can communicate, there could be some other factors for this behaviour. These could range from psychological factors - change in environment, which might lead to adjustment issues to physical factors.

 “School going children could be subject to bullying, or they might have been exposed to violence, first or second hand.”  

“There might be physical reasons, like wearing glasses, for which they might be teased,” Dr Milbourn informed.

STAY IN TOUCH WITH SCHOOLS

She strongly recommends that parents to be in regular contact with the teachers and the school to chart the progress of their children.

Children are very sensitive and any negative vibe can affect them, depression, for example, can travel from the parents to the children. 

“Parents are trying their best, due to the work and other social pressures, they are tired exhausted and often time depressed, and this is transmitted to the children.”

It is important to spend time with the child, and in a world where parents seem to be at work ‘36 hours a day 8 days a week’, Dr Milbourn advises to make the most of whatever time is at hand.

“Even if you have 15 minutes that you can spare for your kids, make sure it is spent wisely,” she said. “Go through a routine, read a story and catch up on the day.”

The key and critical factor in addressing any issue is for the parents to be informed, Dr Milbourn said.

“Read up and be informed,” she recommended. “It is important that you teach yourself and be aware of the developmental stages and also watch out for the change in behavior and the symptoms.”