Teach the children respect by treating them with respect

Published April 2, 2012

Positive Parenting

Children are reflection of their parents, from the physical characteristics to the behaviour they exhibit. Most times these percolate in the home. It, therefore, becomes critical to ensure that good values and respect are imbibed in children, which they inculcate as a habit. 

“The children are watching every move they (parents) make, every thing that they are saying,” says Michelle Campbell director, sector support services, Early Childhood Commission, Jamaica.

“Show your child respect by respecting them as an individual and as a human being,” Campbell says.

Respect starts from home, simple things brushing your teeth and going to bed, children will follow. “What you do the child does the same, taking care of the teeth, taking a bath, sitting at the table and eating dinner, all form a part of teaching them respect.”

Also important to encouraging respectful behaviour is the tone and language used to, and around the children. Parents should be mindful of what they say or how they act in front of their children. 

“It is absolutely necessary that any sort of confrontation between the parents should be dealt with in the most civil manner,” she says.

If, by any unfortunate circumstances, the confrontation brews in front of the child, then take recourse, advises Campbell. 

“It is okay to make mistakes, to yell at your child but you should always make it up. Talk about conflicts, ask them questions, what could have been done differently.”

Campbell reiterates that whatever the children learn is what their elders do. Parents need to remember that when they are teaching the children respect, they are mirroring or modeling whatever they are doing. 

FAMILY TIME

Being together as a family always helps in where the children can learn from different experiences and relate to the good behaviour being passed down to them.

In a situation where it is a single parent household, paucity of time becomes the major issue, “If the child is home alone, when you come home from work ask them what did you do today, what did you do at school today…what did you do at home, did you make your bed, engage in conversation,” advises Campbell. 

“As a single mother or father, be mindful to ask questions, ask them to participate and make decisions,” she says.

Children spend majority of their time at school, where they encounter different kinds of problems. “If there are issues at school don’t run immediately to the teacher if the child has been punished,” says Campbell. “You need to first probe why was he or she punished. Sometimes it might be something they did for which they got punished.” Such an approach helps children to respect elders, be mindful of authority and also be disciplined in their approach.

Campbell, who is firmly against spanking, says that everything can be resolved by dialogue. “Prepare children for change, screaming and yelling don’t resolve anything and spanking shows violence.”

She outlined that there are developmental stages in children, which the parents should be aware of. “A two year old doesn’t want to share, they want to do things on their own, and it is part of their development as they reach out, explore and learn to be independent.”

She informed that teachers also play an important role, “it is very important to observe the behaviour of the child and monitor any changes, parents should try and be in touch with the teachers to take updates on their child’s progress.”

Overall, Campbell says, it is out of meaningful experiences that come meaningful outcomes and primary among them is encouragement, “You need to acknowledge children in whatever good they do encouragement goes a long way.

“It is important, that as parent you model the behaviour that you want your children to emulate. If you want them to do something, you also have to do the same thing for children to model and follow.”